Movie Review: The Expendables 3 (2014)
Written by Anthony Sargon
I have no qualms with dumb action movies that are actively trying to be dumb action movies. While the Transformers franchise has managed to convince its fan-base that it’s ok to settle for crappy storytelling in order to sit through three hours of visual effects, one franchise has reveled in its silliness and stupidity from the get-go: The Expendables. Well, Stallone and co. are back for part three, and it does exactly what it sets out to do.
When Expendables co-founder Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) tries to kill one of Barney’s (Sylvester Stallone) men during a high-stakes mission, things get personal. Afraid for his team’s life, Barney dismantles the Expendables program and sets out to bring a young new team together to take down Stonebanks, no matter what it takes.
What’s there to say about the third Expendables flick that you haven’t already assumed? The writing and dialogue are smothered in cheese, and every other line is either an 80s reference or a self-referential joke. While Patrick Hughes’ direction is a bit chaotic at times, it gets the job done when it comes to old-school action sequences, and there are plenty of those.
The real draw here are the action stars themselves, and there’s more of them than ever. New additions to the cast include Wesley Snipes, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, and Harrison Ford, just to name a few. Gibson is perfect as the slimy Conrad Stonebanks, and he genuinely seems to be relishing the role, but with this and Machete Kills, his over-the-top villain schtick is starting to wear thin. He’s clearly winking at the audience (and the industry), but I’m ready to see Gibson tackle some dramatic roles again. Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas are also clearly having a good time, and their characters were a much-needed addition to the team. Harrison Ford, on the other hand, is just there for a paycheck.
Some of the young cast also stood out, particularly UFC fighter Ronda Rousey. She may not be the greatest actress in the world, but she can definitely kick some ass while looking quite sexy. I also surprisingly didn’t hate Kellan Lutz (from the awful The Legend of Hercules) as Smilee, the young gun who reminds Barney of his younger self.
By introducing a more youthful team, the film tries to contrast old-school action movies to today’s more modern releases. Instead of shooting their way through everything, Barney’s new team relies on more advanced techniques like hacking and drones. It’s a refreshing change of pace, even if it isn’t very long until we find ourselves in the midst of another shootout. There’s been some controversy over the fact that the film is now rated PG-13 instead of R, but I honestly couldn’t even tell the difference. The film racks up a gigantic body count within the opening 10 minutes, so unless you‘re dying to see blood splatter everywhere and hear a couple of forced swear words, you should be fine.
The Verdict:
The Expendables 3 is stupid fun; it’s cheesy, self-deprecating, and fully aware of itself. At this point, you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. Just go along for the ride.
Numerical Score: 6.5/10
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